Joke of the Day!

16 09 2009
An elderly woman walked into the Bank of Canada one morning with a purse full of money. She wanted to open a savings account and insisted on talking to the president of the Bank because, she said, she had a lot of money.
After many lengthy discussions (after all, the client is always right) an employee took the elderly woman to the president’s office.
The president of the Bank asked her how much she wanted to deposit. She placed her purse on his desk and replied, ‘$165,000′. The president was curious and asked her how she had been able to save so much money. The elderly woman replied that she made bets
The president was surprised and asked, ‘What kind of bets?’
The elderly woman replied, ‘Well, I bet you $25,000 that your testicles are square.’
The president started to laugh and told the woman that it was impossible to win a bet like that.
The woman never batted an eye. She just looked at the president and said, ‘Would you like to take my bet?’
‘Certainly’, replied the president. ‘I bet you $25,000 that my testicles are not square.’
‘Done’, the elderly woman answered. ‘But given the amount of money involved, if you don’t mind I would like to come back at 10 o’ clock tomorrow morning with my lawyer as a witness.’ ‘No problem’, said the president of the Bank confidently.
That night, the president became very nervous about the bet and spent a long time in front of the mirror examining his testicles, turning them this way and that, checking them over again and again until he was positive that no one could consider his testicles as square and reassuring himself that there was no way he could lose the bet.
The next morning at exactly 10 o’clock the elderly woman arrived at the president’s office with her lawyer and acknowledged the $25,000 bet made the day before that the president’s testicles were square.
The president confirmed that the bet was the same as the one made the day before. Then the elderly woman asked him to drop his pants etc. so that she and her lawyer could see clearly.
The president was happy to oblige.
The elderly woman came closer so she could see better and asked the president if she could touch them. ‘Of course’, said the president. ‘Given the amount of money involved, you should be 100% sure..’
The elderly woman did so with a little smile. Suddenly the president noticed that the lawyer was banging his head against the wall. He asked the elderly woman why he was doing that and she replied ,
‘Oh, it’s probably because I bet him $100,000 that around 10 o’clock in the morning I would be holding the balls of the President of the Bank of Canada !’
An elderly woman walked into the Bank of Canada one morning with a purse full of money. She wanted to open a savings account and insisted on talking to the president of the Bank because, she said, she had a lot of money.
After many lengthy discussions (after all, the client is always right) an employee took the elderly woman to the president’s office.
The president of the Bank asked her how much she wanted to deposit. She placed her purse on his desk and replied, ‘$165,000′. The president was curious and asked her how she had been able to save so much money. The elderly woman replied that she made bets
The president was surprised and asked, ‘What kind of bets?’
The elderly woman replied, ‘Well, I bet you $25,000 that your testicles are square.’
The president started to laugh and told the woman that it was impossible to win a bet like that.
The woman never batted an eye. She just looked at the president and said, ‘Would you like to take my bet?’
‘Certainly’, replied the president. ‘I bet you $25,000 that my testicles are not square.’
‘Done’, the elderly woman answered. ‘But given the amount of money involved, if you don’t mind I would like to come back at 10 o’ clock tomorrow morning with my lawyer as a witness.’ ‘No problem’, said the president of the Bank confidently.
That night, the president became very nervous about the bet and spent a long time in front of the mirror examining his testicles, turning them this way and that, checking them over again and again until he was positive that no one could consider his testicles as square and reassuring himself that there was no way he could lose the bet.
The next morning at exactly 10 o’clock the elderly woman arrived at the president’s office with her lawyer and acknowledged the $25,000 bet made the day before that the president’s testicles were square.
The president confirmed that the bet was the same as the one made the day before. Then the elderly woman asked him to drop his pants etc. so that she and her lawyer could see clearly.
The president was happy to oblige.
The elderly woman came closer so she could see better and asked the president if she could touch them. ‘Of course’, said the president. ‘Given the amount of money involved, you should be 100% sure..’
The elderly woman did so with a little smile. Suddenly the president noticed that the lawyer was banging his head against the wall. He asked the elderly woman why he was doing that and she replied ,
‘Oh, it’s probably because I bet him $100,000 that around 10 o’clock in the morning I would be holding the balls of the President of the Bank of Canada !’




The Two Nuns

3 09 2009
There were two nuns..
One of them was known as
Sister Mathematical (SM),
And the other one was known as
Sister Logical (SL).
It is getting dark
and they are still far away
from the convent.
SM:
Have you noticed
that a man has been following us
for the past thirty-eight and a half minutes?
I wonder what he wants.
SL:
It’s logical.
He wants to rape us.
SM:
Oh, no!
At this rate
he will reach us
in 15 minutes at the most!
What can we do?
SL:
The only logical thing to do
of course is to walk faster.
SM:
It’s not working.
SL:
Of course it’s not working.
The man did the only logical thing.
He started to walk faster, too..
SM:
So, what shall we do?
At this rate he will reach us
in one minute.
SL:
The only logical thing we can do is split.
You go that way and I’ll go this way.
He cannot follow us both.
So the man
decided to follow
Sister Logical.
Sister Mathematical
arrives at the convent
and is worried about what has happened
to Sister Logical.
Then Sister Logical arrives.
SM:
Sister Logical!
Thank God you are here!
Tell me what happened!
SL:
The only logical thing happened.
The man couldn’t follow us both,
so he followed me!
SM:
Yes, yes!
But what happened then?
SL:
The only logical thing happened.
I started to run as fast as I could
and he started to run as fast as he could.
SM:
And?
SL:
The only logical thing happened.
He reached me.
SM:
Oh, dear!
What did you do?
SL:
The only logical thing to do.
I lifted my dress up.
SM:
Oh, Sister!
What did the man do?
SL:
The only logical thing to do.
He pulled down his pants.
SM:
Oh, no!
What happened then?
SL:
Isn’t it logical, Sister?
A nun with her dress up
can run faster
than a man with his pants down..
And for those of you
who thought it would be dirty,
Say two Hail Marys!

There were two nuns..

One of them was known as

Sister Mathematical (SM),

And the other one was known as

Sister Logical (SL).

It is getting dark

and they are still far away

from the convent.

SM:

Have you noticed

that a man has been following us

for the past thirty-eight and a half minutes?

I wonder what he wants.

SL:

It’s logical.

He wants to rape us.

SM:

Oh, no!

At this rate

he will reach us

in 15 minutes at the most!

What can we do?

SL:

The only logical thing to do

of course is to walk faster.

SM:

It’s not working.

SL:

Of course it’s not working.

The man did the only logical thing.

He started to walk faster, too..

SM:

So, what shall we do?

At this rate he will reach us

in one minute.

SL:

The only logical thing we can do is split.

You go that way and I’ll go this way.

He cannot follow us both.

So the man

decided to follow

Sister Logical.

Sister Mathematical

arrives at the convent

and is worried about what has happened

to Sister Logical.

Then Sister Logical arrives.

SM:

Sister Logical!

Thank God you are here!

Tell me what happened!

SL:

The only logical thing happened.

The man couldn’t follow us both,

so he followed me!

SM:

Yes, yes!

But what happened then?

SL:

The only logical thing happened.

I started to run as fast as I could

and he started to run as fast as he could.

SM:

And?

SL:

The only logical thing happened.

He reached me.

SM:

Oh, dear!

What did you do?

SL:

The only logical thing to do.

I lifted my dress up.

SM:

Oh, Sister!

What did the man do?

SL:

The only logical thing to do.

He pulled down his pants.

SM:

Oh, no!

What happened then?

SL:

Isn’t it logical, Sister?

A nun with her dress up

can run faster

than a man with his pants down..

And for those of you

who thought it would be dirty,

Say two Hail Marys!





Bulilit Commercial Spoof

16 05 2009

Found this spoof from the Bulilit Commercial of Camella Homes in Youtube. This video is crazy!! Lol!





Chinese Eye Test

1 05 2009

download7

If you cannot decipher anything,

then try pulling the corner of your eyes as if you were Chinese.

It works ….

Haha. Funny right? Haha.








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